Today, I'm Going to Die

Have you ever had a near-death experience?  A moment in time when you are faced with the very real possibility that you are about to die?  When you are looking into the dark face of Death...standing at the edge of a black hole that has caught you in its eddies and promises to drag you coldly down into the next unknown...

I had one of those moments this morning.

At 8:15ish am, as I was riding our school elevator and neared the 4th floor, it suddenly slowed with a grinding roar, vibrating and shaking dangerously.  My heart stopped, my stomach dropped.  My thoughts flashed back to last night, when I had felt a weird premonition that I would die by fire (to me, one of the most horrifying ways to die), and I thought, "God, were you preparing me for this moment?  To leave this journey completely and continue on the ultimate one with you?" 

I asked myself if I was ready to face my maker.  I felt, of all times, I'm not ready to go.  Not because I was afraid of judgement--I actually felt more clear in my conscious than any time in my life, and was a little excited to finally realize the hidden truths of my faith.  Would it be anything like I'd imagined? 

No, I didn't want to die yet because there was still so much I wanted to use my life to accomplish.  There was still too much to be done--too many people left to reach, to love, to save!  I was struck by the gravity of all that mattered in life--truly mattered--and all of my existence orbited around serving as many people as possible as Christ himself would have.  My family.  My friends.  How many needs can I meet before I leave this world?  How many hearts can I soften to God's love?  How many words of truth can I offer to those who have been deceived for too long by the lies I myself have only recently begun to be freed of? 

The elevator continued rumbling and rattling for another minute while these thoughts raced by in split-seconds.

Then, as suddenly as it started, the noise stopped.  The elevator jarred into the 4th floor.  The doors opened, and I escaped with my life--for now.  For His glory.  In this world.