"I'm over it..."

I changed my answer to the vote at the top of the page today.  I'm not necessarily in the conflict (although things still come up), but in this dreary phase of weariness and exhaustion.  I don't necessarily feel the passion and excitement I did at first (although those still come in waves, as well), but rather a steady sense of determination to finish the race, resolved to the course God has set for me. 

In truth, I am still excited when I stop and consider all that God has done to lead me here.  He's got me in his hands, and I feel safe when I remember that.  Actually, I believe the largest factor in my current rating is the amount of time I spend with God.  Over the past few months of flurry and hurry, my time in His word, meditating, and prayer has dropped significantly.  I'd say by at least a third, maybe even my half.

Running on my own strength...

I still make time for him, but with all of the other things to do to prepare for the next part of my journey, I don't have the amount of leisure time that I used to.  I find that I need to be extra disciplined, focused in my use of time, and balanced as I distribute how I spend it.  Then there is that portion of time I protect for myself, instead of spending it on God.  I choose instead to do the things I think will bring me rest or peace...no wonder I still feel weary.

In these moments of clarity, I turn to Him again, and I feel refreshed.  Still, turning my life over to God must become my daily habit, not keeping any part for myself.

Help me, Lord, to remember that my life belongs to you, the only one who can keep it safe forever.